Once in a blue moon we stumble across an album that makes us sit up right, pay attention and think ‘fuck this is how it should be done’ – a flawless collection of hits that should shake up the industry as a whole. The type of pop tunes that say ‘this is how pop tunes should be written’ and the type of music that says ‘this is what the radio should be playing’
Last year we found one of these albums.
For some time The Shoracle has been listening to Dandilion Radio and from it we have benefitted a plethora of delicious music that may otherwise have been unheard to our ears. She messaged me ‘They’ve played Cardiacs on Dandilion Radio!’ Shortly after another message arrived ‘You need to listen to this, they played it afterwards, it’s not for me’ – ‘It’s not for me’ is usually a good indicator that whilst it’s not for HER it’s most certainly for ME and boy was she right!
The tune in question was Eureka! an absolute musical play condensed into less than three minutes, a crunchy clean bass line punctuates the track like an angry landlord, mystical chimey bits that suggest we should ‘turn the page’ excitingly aggressive vocals conjuring the self-awareness we experience where we finally remember to put the milk back in the fridge or close a door – an ode to the small levels of self-improvement we can experience when we try that little bit.
Oh yesirreee I can see why a Cardiacs lover would be delighted with the immaculate chaos, it’s a joy to singalong to, to trip over the words HAVE I SQUASHED IT SQUASHED IT? YES HAVE I KILLED IT KILLED IT? NO!
Quintessentially immaculate and relatable, bastard wives, goats, home made bread, cups of tea, filing systems – This could be written for or by anyone. As everyday as stubbing a toe or forgetting to boil the kettle.
Obviously this inspired me to listen to the album in its entirity – a collection of singles and new tunes by the band… oh yeah, the band sorry I should mention them. At first listen I figured there’d be about 4/5 members and then something twigged in my head that perhaps there was only 1 but actually I *THINK* it’s 2 – 2 people building these intricate masterpieces, one foot in the ‘pop tune formula’ book and the other in DRUGS (not really but you know what I mean) allows for these pristine, glowing tunes to be formed. Not one of the tracks on the album ‘We Should Never Have Come Here?” isn’t worthy of repeated Radio 1 play – these tunes should boot the likes of Sam Smith or George Ezra off a f*cking cliff and take their places. No two tunes are alike and yet it’s immediately identifiable as to who has created them, a rare feat.
Honestly I’ve listened to the album dozens of times by now and I am still excited.
The second Tune, Where You Are is, arguably the most ‘centric pop tune’ on the album and in so many ways shouldn’t appeal to me but like… you know when you watch a Disney musical and someone starts singing and there’s a character that’s frowning and doesn’t want to know but they get convinced to join in… that’s what that track is.. it’s enticing, it beckons with minimal effort… ‘you don’t hate pop music, you’ve just listened to the wrong music’ with it’s OH OH OHs and it’s little funky noodles in there, I’m a convert damn you!
It just gets better from there, I haven’t even mentioned Conquistador, the singularly most addictive song on the album, you’ll be barking that chorus at your dog for weeks to come. I don’t want to spoil it for you just go listen to it for fuck sake.
Epoch is another tune I feel toes the line between guilty pleasure and the shortlist for my wedding party bangers… A sort of Scissor-Sistery funky number that feels immensely uplifting but (and I’m not lyrical analyst) carries about it a nihilistic darkness, it captures those points where we are zoning out in shop queues and we suddently think ‘what the fuck am I doing’ but before you can dwell too long that funky ass-bass line and that chainsaw engine guitar carries you to the dance floor where you can join all your little nihilist friends and scream at the moon I DONT CARE I JUST WANT TO DANCE… plus mega bonus points for bringing the word ‘epoch’ into a joyeous modern chorus. Like that ever happens.
A
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IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!
Okay, okay I won’t go on too long but Craters, *chef kiss* a song which I am pretty sure is about nursing a pint and holding out in pubs for as long as possible ‘my cousin owns that pub I think’ it brings about memories of being a student and asking for half a pint in a pint glass, it makes me think of hours spent in pubs whilst it rains outside, penniless and bored, cradling a splittle-fused coppery liquid for as long as possible in a desperate bid not to go outside and deal with life – ‘craters’ the sunken memory of one’s sad arse imprinted into the vinyl seats. A metaphor for life perhaps? Yeah, that sounds smart. Let’s go with that.
What tops it all off is that have also dedicated a lot of time to creating exceptional videos and visual pieces, visual art motion pieces, arty motion youtube video art times for the tunes! So not only can you benefit listening to the album and letting your imagination go buck wild for a while but you can then see them do it right and have real fun with every facet of the art they’ve produced. The playful innocence and notion that it’s all for fun and the joy of it just elevates the entire experience as a consumer. Dancing around in the pool of other people’s joys as they invite you to drink from their creative fountains is the best way to enjoy anything, hedonistic maybe, but it’s nice to shake off the corporate shackles and have some good, honest fun.
So overall, a flawless collection of tunes that certainly remind me of the zaniness of Cardiacs, the pop perfection of Dowling Pool combined with the relatability of lyrical stylings of the likes of Squeeze, XTC or Wedding Present. That is to say that the words are very concrete, to me at least, and I’ve always enjoyed listening to people use everyday wordology smartly in songs… other than Epoch of course, that’s a pretty zany word, maybe they allocate one zany word to an album at a time. I hope so! It’s just all so indicative of immensely talented creators who treat everything with a mischevious irreverence, I am all for that, the industry sucks, so much beige boring nonsense and this band has erupted through the asphalt like a giant fucking beanstalk with a big flower shouting HEY! LET’S EAT A LOVELY YOGURT. We need more yoghurt threatening giant beanstalks erupting through the ashen ground of ashen creativity.
So please, whether you’re into the obscure or the everyday, The Vanity Project has all bases covered all at once and they deserve the ears of every single person with ears. I promise. We literally paid our electric bill, cut the weeds back from our printing presses and dusted off the keyboards JUST to tell you all about this band SO GO AND LISTEN NOW.
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